Everyone deserves to feel smart

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One of my kids is struggling with reading and writing. I didn't realise how bad it was until I was forced to home school him and I feel ashamed I haven't helped him as much as could over the last few years. But now I see a familiar pattern in how he has been avoiding writing anything down for fear of being embarrassed. He feels dumb for not being better at it and I know how he feels as I was the same at his age.

When I was a kid in primary school I was made to feel like a dumb-ass. Particularly when it came to writing. I remember people liked to point out my spelling mistakes, errors in punctuation and grammar (they still do). All while holding a note of superiority and smartness. I hated it and it made me avoid reading and writing at all costs to avoid further embarrassment. They said they were trying to help me, but it just made me feel worse.

My solution was to avoid reading and writing at all times. No easy when you are in school, so I developed coping strategies. If I didn't know how to spell a word, I would just use another word to replace it. My goal was to avoid being embarrassed, not really caring about the grade I received. So my vocabulary increased dramatically as Grammarly tells me in their weekly reports! But my school work suffered as a result.

Looking back, I realise why these things happened. I was young for my year so I was always less developed than my peers. My home life was challenging as I didn't have anyone to help me do homework or provide structure to study. Plus, lots of other things not for this blog that impact young people's confidence in themselves. So, I ended up hating school all the way through until year 12, but at least I passed.

Many are not as lucky. Quite a few of my friends dropped out of school and never received the benefits of higher education. Most of them are clever people, but the system didn't support them enough to bring out their best.

I was fortunate that it all changed for me when my mum encouraged me to see a psychologist aged 19 to get an IQ test, which changed the course of my life.

Back in the day, you couldn't go online to do one as there was no internet. This was a full day of tests to measure EQ and IQ which had to be sent to America for the results. Two weeks later I realised I wasn't dumb at all. In fact, I was actually quite bright. Who would have thought...

So, I slowly dipped my toe into higher education. A short course here, some TAFE study there, which slowly built my confidence and progressed to a Bachelor degree, a Masters Degree, writing a book and teaching at the highest level in Universities. Quite the turnaround.

My desire to be considered smart was the motivation for my studies. To prove 'them' wrong, to show the world that I could do it. I was smart. I can write.

Being made to feel stupid is a terrible thing in education as it pushes kids away from what they need most, understanding and confidence to learn at their own pace.

So next time you feel like pointing out someone's shortcomings to give yourself a small boost in superior confidence. Give some thoughts to what that might do for the other person and what they might have been through already. Perhaps they aren't as educated as you, maybe they are not as smart, but that doesn't mean their words don't have value. Their ideas deserve respect, as they do as people.

So for my son, myself and others for which writing is challenging, give them a break.

Support them to do better and build their confidence, rather than your own. This could be a child you know, a new intern at work, a student you teach or just someone who blogs on LinkedIn. It can make the world of difference to give some encouragement to those that grew up feeling dumb.

Cheers Andrew

P.S. I purposely spelt grammar incorrectly in the title to see how many people would rush to point this out without reading the blog down to the end :)

P.P.S. For those wanting to write, do it! But use Grammarly as it's awesome for helping pick up typos and minor mistakes.

Andrew Ford

Marketing expert Andrew Ford, the founder of Social Star, has discovered the secret of ‘Powerful Branding’. With a fire for unleashing people’s inner brand and developing business models to generate profit from an individual’s passions, Andrew leverages ground-breaking digital and social media marketing techniques to create digital strategies for clients to attract maximum opportunities. Having established a strong name for himself in the field, Andrew blends traditional business techniques with now-necessary tools for entrepreneurs to achieve scale, quality, and influence in their niche. Andrew’s comprehensive business background and qualifications consist of a Bachelor of Business (Marketing) (RMIT 2003), a Graduate Certificate in Management (MBA Executive Program, University of Sydney 2005), and a Masters of Entrepreneurship and Innovation (Swinburne University 2011). Continually on the cutting edge of his own education, Andrew has tested his marketing theories in forums such as the BCG Business Strategy Competition, which he won in 2005 against all Victorian MBA schools, and the Venture Cup Business Plan Competition (Swinburne University 2003), which he won in the Masters category. With experience working at Hewlett-Packard, Sensis (Telstra) and IBM, Andrew also has mentored dozens of junior staffs to help them achieve their professional goals. Meeting and influencing high-profile public figures helped Andrew to realise just how many professionals require more understanding and control of their public brands or appearance, and need help with the skills to use the many amazing free tools at their disposal to generate success. At Social Star, Andrew consults with clients to uncover their personal brand – both where it is today and where it can be tomorrow – and refine and define how that should be displayed in social media in order to attract their perfect target audience. Andrew mentors his clients to rapidly grow their business’ audiences, resulting in larger potential client bases and higher revenue. Applying formulas that integrate over twenty years of Andrew’s business experience and fifteen years of formal business education, Social Star specialises in building clarity and velocity for clients’ brands using the ‘Understand, Build and Leverage’ methodology. ‘Having a Personal Business enables people to have an authentic, congruent connection with their valued clients and partners, using their brand as the bridge,’ says Andrew. ‘I’m highly driven to work with the new breed of entrepreneurs and small business owners – people who have a passion for making the world a better place. Traditional business models are stepping aside as people follow their innermost dreams and my role is to see them operate within their values while creating wealth. Some people think you have to sacrifice what you love to be successful in your business, yet it is actually the opposite. Follow your passion and success will come.’ Lecturing at Swinburne University from 2009 to 2011 on brand dynamics and digital marketing, presenting at numerous conferences, and consulting to hundreds of clients, Andrew has seen his philosophy work that if you follow your unique path, based on your skills, experience, values and goals, you will automatically attract the opportunities you desire and achieve the success you deserve. Living his mantra, Andrew has created a successful business and attracts high-profile clients including musicians, athletes, authors, models, entrepreneurs, professionals and small business owners, helping them find their ‘why’ in their business and fulfilment in their lives. Business for Andrew is more than work, it’s personal. Running a personal business means that he is able to fulfil all of his values rather than separating his life from work. It supports his two boys while providing social opportunities, educational development, fitness opportunities, spiritual fulfilment and many valuable friendships. Social Star has now become the vehicle for Andrew to crystallise his mission in the world, to help people love what they do, supporting his ‘why’, that if more people loved what they did, the world would be a better place.

 
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