Do we need to be super awesome ALLLL the time?

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Being awesome can be exhausting! You work super hard for a particular project and it smashes it's goals. Everyone congratulates you and you get that beautiful warm feeling of satisfaction and completeness. Ahhh...You take yourself out for a congratulatory drink and the next morning, people are still shaking your hand and giving you knowing nods. But then in the afternoon meeting with your boss, they move right onto the next big project that's super urgent and important. They want you to take point on it as you did so well with the last one. What the...where's the chill time? What about the last big push, don't I get some space? Well, actually, no.

The same could be said for working in your own business. You smash your target for the quarter - but the next day the new quarter starts and the bills don't rest; finish writing that book - now it's time to promote it; you kill a job for a client - but there is always so much more to do. Argh!

I know what you are thinking, who asked Mr Happy motivational speaker to write a blog today? Glad we followed you, Andrew! But stay with me as there is a point I promise.

My question is, does being awesome have to be the main way to feeling good? If you weren't 'on' all the time, would that be ok? It's an important question as it's likely, from time to time, you don't hit the high notes, you can't close the deal, the customer says no or you just mess up.

What do you do then? Freak out and get depressed? Go on a bender of booze/Netflix/food for all three? (sounds quite good actually haha) It's likely you will. Or you double down on the next project to really smash it out of the park. But what if something like a worldwide pandemic comes along and you can't work, then you are really fucked.

The reason for this blog today is that I recently discovered that one of my most successful friends is actually suffering severe mental health challenges. He has it all (by outward appearances) but doesn't know how to just be fulfilled where he is right now. COVID was really tough on him as he couldn't work and achieve. It's a damn shame that we have a society that reaching the top of the mountain often is depicted as being rich and when you get it, you realise it was the wrong mountain.

So it's kinda important to learn how to separate our emotions from the performance we achieve. I know this roller coaster well as I did it for about 20 years! It was productive as hell, three degrees, sports achievements, work success, but it was a bit exhausting too. I realise now that I could have achieved just as much without the highs and lows if I just knew how. To be honest, I'm still working on it. I kick my ass often when I don't feel like I am doing enough, but I'm trying!

My exploration of this space has come up with a few key beliefs to live by and today I want to share the most important one that has helped me. It's all about balance...

there will always be ups and downs, light and dark, success and failure and in equal amounts so don't chase the light and hide from the shade. Embrace both sides, they are equally important for your fulillment.

It's easy to read but challenging to apply. I'm no expert on this but I am on a quest to do better so I look for those that know more than me. Svend Brinkmann is a Danish Professor of Psychology in the Department of Communication and Psychology at Aalborg University, Denmark. He wrote a few books on the topic and I love one of his quotes from his book Stand Firm...

"The pace of modern life is accelerating. To keep up, we must keep on moving and adapting – constantly striving for greater happiness and success. Or so we are told. But the demands of life in the fast lane come at a price: stress, fatigue and depression are at an all-time high, while our social interactions have become increasingly self-serving and opportunistic.

The secret to a happier life lies not in finding your inner self but in coming to terms with yourself in order to coexist peacefully with others. Better to face reality than ‘live in a fool's paradise', as my gran would say."

My hypothesis is if you didn't have to smash that goal and be awesome all the time to get that happy warm satisfied feeling would your life be better?

If you think it would, I urge you to seek out some books and teachings from smarter people than me on how to teach your brain and emotions how to embrace both success and failure in equal measure and be ok with both. Not in a fake it to you make it, pretend you are happy all the time, but genuine understanding of how that experience was just as necessary for you as any other alternative. Be happy, be sad, be in between - and ok with all of those emotions. That's the path to fulfilment.

Then go hang with some good mates, play with your kids, pat a dog, walk in nature and realise that real fulfillment is just appreciation of being alive.

Let's celebrate regular people, not mediocrity, but people who have balance and fulfilment, not just money and success. Perhaps we would be a happier planet.

Andrew

P.S. Feel free to disagree if you feel like this is all BS.

Andrew Ford

Marketing expert Andrew Ford, the founder of Social Star, has discovered the secret of ‘Powerful Branding’. With a fire for unleashing people’s inner brand and developing business models to generate profit from an individual’s passions, Andrew leverages ground-breaking digital and social media marketing techniques to create digital strategies for clients to attract maximum opportunities. Having established a strong name for himself in the field, Andrew blends traditional business techniques with now-necessary tools for entrepreneurs to achieve scale, quality, and influence in their niche. Andrew’s comprehensive business background and qualifications consist of a Bachelor of Business (Marketing) (RMIT 2003), a Graduate Certificate in Management (MBA Executive Program, University of Sydney 2005), and a Masters of Entrepreneurship and Innovation (Swinburne University 2011). Continually on the cutting edge of his own education, Andrew has tested his marketing theories in forums such as the BCG Business Strategy Competition, which he won in 2005 against all Victorian MBA schools, and the Venture Cup Business Plan Competition (Swinburne University 2003), which he won in the Masters category. With experience working at Hewlett-Packard, Sensis (Telstra) and IBM, Andrew also has mentored dozens of junior staffs to help them achieve their professional goals. Meeting and influencing high-profile public figures helped Andrew to realise just how many professionals require more understanding and control of their public brands or appearance, and need help with the skills to use the many amazing free tools at their disposal to generate success. At Social Star, Andrew consults with clients to uncover their personal brand – both where it is today and where it can be tomorrow – and refine and define how that should be displayed in social media in order to attract their perfect target audience. Andrew mentors his clients to rapidly grow their business’ audiences, resulting in larger potential client bases and higher revenue. Applying formulas that integrate over twenty years of Andrew’s business experience and fifteen years of formal business education, Social Star specialises in building clarity and velocity for clients’ brands using the ‘Understand, Build and Leverage’ methodology. ‘Having a Personal Business enables people to have an authentic, congruent connection with their valued clients and partners, using their brand as the bridge,’ says Andrew. ‘I’m highly driven to work with the new breed of entrepreneurs and small business owners – people who have a passion for making the world a better place. Traditional business models are stepping aside as people follow their innermost dreams and my role is to see them operate within their values while creating wealth. Some people think you have to sacrifice what you love to be successful in your business, yet it is actually the opposite. Follow your passion and success will come.’ Lecturing at Swinburne University from 2009 to 2011 on brand dynamics and digital marketing, presenting at numerous conferences, and consulting to hundreds of clients, Andrew has seen his philosophy work that if you follow your unique path, based on your skills, experience, values and goals, you will automatically attract the opportunities you desire and achieve the success you deserve. Living his mantra, Andrew has created a successful business and attracts high-profile clients including musicians, athletes, authors, models, entrepreneurs, professionals and small business owners, helping them find their ‘why’ in their business and fulfilment in their lives. Business for Andrew is more than work, it’s personal. Running a personal business means that he is able to fulfil all of his values rather than separating his life from work. It supports his two boys while providing social opportunities, educational development, fitness opportunities, spiritual fulfilment and many valuable friendships. Social Star has now become the vehicle for Andrew to crystallise his mission in the world, to help people love what they do, supporting his ‘why’, that if more people loved what they did, the world would be a better place.

 
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