As in the 'Matrix': Everyone Fails the first time. Is this part of Building Your Own Business?

This morning I was talking to a business coach and friend that I respect. We were chatting about some mutual clients of ours who were struggling in their business and wanted to quit so we were exploring solutions to help them. After our chat he sent me a text message that got me thinking, it said 'everyone tries and fails'. What he meant was everyone tries to do it alone and without support and coaching they often fail the first time they try. This got me thinking - why do people not seek help and invest a little money and time in coaching when the difference could be success or failure? I'm hoping that the professional coaches out there can give me some tips.

matrix fail andrew ford

I know from my own experience that I am reluctant to pay for coaching in certain areas of my life but will happily invest in others. For instance, I don't ever get a Personal Trainer at the gym, but happy to pay for running advice. I have never had a life coach, but recently employed a business coach. For my kids, I will pay for all sorts of coaches! Swimming, music lessons, sport and reading - basically anything they need. So perhaps I am not reluctant to pay for coaching, it just depends on my values to where I invest the money and time.


In my business coaching, I work with clients to analyse their core values. That means prioritising; business, money, family, friends, spirituality, health and learning to discover what is driving their behaviour. It's important to understand where are they are currently investing their time, money and effort. Then we compare that to where they would like to spend their time and look to fill the gaps. Often we find many clients are prioritising their values according to someone else's agenda. Partners, kids, family, work or society can all impose their values on you which creates angst and dissatisfaction. Then we work to change this situation.

Ask for Help

So in regards to coaching and asking for help, I believe people will ask and invest in help when it relates to their highest values, but they don't if it doesn't. I will hire anyone for my kids that will help them for instance, but not for me personally unless it relates to something I find important, like my business.  

Therefore, my team who are facing challenge and wanting to give up in their business is not a question of should they ask me or others for help. The real question is does this business matching to their highest values. Sometimes it simply isn't a great fit, but other times they haven't connected how this will assist them in getting what they really want. For instance, working hard might seem to be the opposite of spending time with family, but if the greater goal is a long term better lifestyle, then it is easier to put the time in now.

Coaching would help them see the bigger picture, connect the value dots and help them persist and get where they are wanting to go. The dilemma is only when they feel that this activity will reach their goals will they seek and respond to coaching and advice, but they need the coaching to see how it connects to their values! Chicken and egg situation right there.

Advise from the expert coaches welcome!